6/6/10 (tuesday) 8

Let me tell you a little bit. I have reached the point of one week into my check and I have spent the whole thing. All i have is tucker to feed my body. Often I do get ill on the last days of my payday. I suppose it is deliberate. I sort of believe a human has to go through a little bit of pain. It is a mans needs. I dunno, i am trying to figure out wether it is wrong to get your needs from purchasing stuff. I mean am i getting off on the exchange between myself and the checkout girl or am i feeling one with a crowed. The latter is the only acceptable one.

I cannot overcome this separation of men from woman. If i turn out to get a wife. Will I be able to centre agian. I know the truth. When you delve into mistake, you get a habit, or maybe you need that sin, and the only way to return is stick so close to the line that you don't go wayward. You know how they say you had a phycotic episode well each time you venture from the line you can feel habit or need of porn, sadism, dating sites, perving for example well each episode you can feel yourself, the desire, overcome you and you think... it'll rise again. That is why we sleep when we are inflated in the head.

I know this because i have smoked and drunk and took drugs and when you do that you just say indulge, use your vices. But I re-centred. Started using my knowledge to live a healthy fun, fun fun fun lifestyle. And I know for sure that now, eating the forbidden fruit in excess, smoking ciggarettes is nothing compared to being the majoritory, healthy productive ppl, and also having your needs met. You have issues with your needs if you drop out and come back....................

I know why the burka is there. Its because the girls have the power, here. They don't dress modest and they have found a neesh worshiping the idol (fernwood etc). But I shouldn't speak to soon, hey. Ads orrientate our lives individually in separate ways. Anyway don't let this discourage you.... the best advise, is "start doing stuff, if you are seen as doing something similar to her interests, she will be attracted.

I need to centre and stay in maximum social health. Fuck i must have don't some stuff wrong because I am saturated with soles who lend a hand and walk together. And still my dick takes over heaps and my minds desire, and that means I am misinformed about my needs. I need another key.